Error By Christine Swiderski


Winter is struggling to stay in the mix, while spring is trying to push its way thru. In all fairness, it is Springs turn. I am curled up on the sofa considering going through my bills. I do everything online, even though many have told me it is better to have a paper trail too many mistakes are made online and also the cyber bullies.

For once I would like an error to be made benefiting me for a change. I am not sure what exactly but if by chance more money is placed into my account, I would immediately pour myself a cocktail and call in sick for work. Depending how much of an error, if it were large enough I would move my money to an offshore account before anyone became the wiser. I would then head for some out of the way place and leave this manure behind me.

Adding an extra teaspoon of sugar in my latte I decided to delve into my bills. One by one I paid them leaving me nothing for playtime or groceries for that matter. The game I play is when money gets this thin I will take a one day job for play money. Before logging off I checked my bank balance.  I stared at the screen for the longest time before I could convince myself what I was seeing was a reality. There were too many periods between too many numbers.

I started running through my head if I knew anyone at the bank well enough that they would play a cruel game with me. At the same time, I started running scenarios through my dream escape. Yes on rainy cold days I would fantasy what I would do with 7 million plus dollars. I even went so far as to check out banks that I could set up an account within a short amount of time online and transfer the funds. Once I went in person to the bank I would again set up an account with another bank and transfer half the funds. At that point, it was fun deciding where I would live out the rest of my days.

OH, what the hell! I am going for it. Within an hour I had set up a Swiss account. My passport is current, I got off the sofa, with a Bluetooth headset plugged into one ear I started packing and calling airlines. There was a flight to Switzerland leaving in 3 hours. I am going. I left just enough cash in my old account so I could get currency to leave town. I will do this through the ATM at the gas station. No human eyes prying, take what I can get and hit the road. Money in hand I drove to the airport and left my car in long term parking. My car is an old rust bucket; it would cost me more to fix it than buy a new one. The car only had a $100 trade in value, I checked to see what I could get for scraping it, I would get more on trade in.  I am glad I do not need to make that decision.

First class is nice with wait service, menu and a soft blanket and pillow. I decided to kick back watch a movie before taking a nap. This is a long flight I want to be rested when I arrive. The movie was Gone with the wind, color version. I love that story so romantic and tragic at the same time.  After my snooze, I ordered a meal, Chicken salad on a croissant, delicious. Now onto a cocktail or two; I was surprised they were not too watered down. Another nap should take me close to landing time.  When I woke it was to a sound of a scuffle, my first thought was “Just my luck we get hijacked or the plane explodes.” None of the sort just an unruly passenger complaining about a crying baby and another about someone’s hat that said “Make America Great Again” Good grief why can’t people grow up!

We received the command to put our seatbelts on and trays in the upright position. I did as I was told, my stomach gurgled its nervous twinge hoping I did not come all this way only to be turned away for insufficient funds because the computer figured out its error before I got here. I have even considered moving portions of it to two other banks but my fantasy did not go that far so I need to do my homework.

Now a year into my most excellent adventure I had decided to settle in Scotland for six months then onto a warmer climate. Barbados sounded good for 3 months after that I went to Germany, France then Hawaii. Yes after a year I figured I was safe and want to be closer to home.

Hawaii is as close to the mainland as I want to get. Fresh fruit every day picked in my backyard. Hawaii is warm and sunny most of the time it doesn’t get better than this anywhere in the world.  

I decided to live cautiously not drawing attention to myself. I bought a medium family home, if I were on the mainland, what I paid for this house I could have bought a McMansion.

I walk early every morning and I have had a date now and then but I do not want to get serious with anyone, I do not want to answer too many questions, this seems to be the only drawback to my new lifestyle.

One late night it actually rained, I was pleasantly surprised, the sound made me homesick. Sitting back with a chilled Chablis, music playing there’s a knock at my door. I never have any late night visitors; I tried to decide if I was going to answer it. The decision was made for me; a tall man was standing at my doorwall peering into my living room. I slowly walked over and asked through the glass: “What do you want?”

He said: “My money back.”

I stood looking at him wondering if he was a representative of the bank, the Feds who is this guy? I asked: “Do you have any ID?”

He yelled: “Open this Fucking door or I will break it down! You would not know me if I showed you my Fucking ID.”

I went for my phone. He yelled: “You call the police we both lose.”

I let him in. He stood just inside the room dripping wet angrier than a jilted woman. I backed up near the front door, stood with my arms crossed waiting for him to make the first move. He asked for a towel I threw him a towel and reached for my wine. After drying off he walked into the kitchen opened a cupboard and came in the room with a glass. He slowly poured himself a glass of wine and sat on a barstool. I just stood off to the side not knowing what to do.

He said: “You don’t remember me do you?”

I said: “Yes now that your inside in the light we went out a couple of times. I was pissed you never called, I thought we had something good.”

He said: “We did have something good, the problem was I embezzled the money I dropped into your account from some very nefarious fellas. You took off before I could call and tell you what my plans were and ask if you wanted to tag along.”

I said: “I would have said yes. The answer is still yes.”

I slowly walked over to him leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. He turned and gave me a luscious, sensuous kiss. Yes, every nerve in my body remembers him.

We sat down and he wanted to know how much I had left. I told him most of it I lived frugally because I did not know how else to live. He smiled asked me to marry him. We married the next day. We decided to stay in Hawaii for a year before moving. His plan was to move every two years across the country. Next stop California, from there New Mexico after that we will have to decide.

The error of my fantasy was not this good.